Pondering

I was adding pictures to this blog last night when Clarissa came to me with the following: It was somewhat disturbing at the time and still is. to some extent

Clarissa just came in singing " Heavenly Father loves me"
MOm: and I love you too
Rissa.Rissa: I love Heavenly Father, MOm I need to go see him."
Mom: him who?
Rissa: "Heavenly Father"
Mom: Rissa I need to see you.
Rissa: Okay Mom I'll wait and go next week but, I need to see him because loves he me.
This went on for a few minutes. The jist is she thinks she need to go see Heavenly Father next week because the angel told her. We went and told Kent this too. We've tried to question her and some of it doesn't make sense but, she keeps saying she needs to see Heavenly Father. I showed her a picture and am hoping that will sufice for now. I feel earie about this. I'm trying to not cry right now. I'm hoping she is thinkig she needs to see him like she just saw her Poppy.

Okay so I've had a few hours to ponder discuss and pray. I don't know if it's a 3 1/2 year olds mind or if she realy does need to go see Heavenly Father. Given the latter I've had a long talk with my Heavenly Father and as best as one can we've come to an understanding. Dont' get me wrong, I can't imagine my life with out Clarissa but, I have decided I have enough faith to know Heavenly Father knows better than I. I know he loves me. Iknow as does Clarissa that he loves her and that he only wants the best for her as do I. I've pondered and though of all the great things we have done. How blessed we have been, She went to Disneyland 5 times this past year. SHe is a little ball of fire that loves life.

Don't get me wrong life is going on as usual around here she spent her 3 minutes in the corner this morning. But, if she is going to see Heavenly Father I'm glad I knew in advance I'm glad she listened. I'm thankful for the peace that can bring me. But, for now life is as usual.

I'm not sure if this was an exercise in Faith on my part or her. If my Heavenly Father was testing my strength or if he was just reminding me to spend some extra time with my kids. Either way I'll listen. For a bragging moment I'm so proud I didn't try to bargin with him. But, I still have a spunky red head so maybe that's when it's easy.

I hope and pray it was just a test of my faith but, if not I pray for peace and understanding not only for myself but, for those whos lives have been touched by Clarissa. I know families are forever. I pray I don't have to test that in the coming year but, if I do. It's here in writing for me to remember. I guess that is why I'm writing this because I may need to remember it. Okay enough.

My kids are with Tutu today and I am painting a wall in my kitchen red ok cranberry and Kent is finishing the floor in the addition. Hunter's pary is in there next Saturday.

Off to work. Just wanted to get my feelings. down. Your brain can wander as you paint.

I am so blessed and am so thankful for my 2 wonderful children. fit thowing chocOlate faces, clothes changing and all!