May 6, 2009

My personal race for a cure!

The kids got Hero capes.

Let's just say it's been a rough year. Full of personal challenges and growth.

I have walked in to many to count Race for the Cures. I walked preggers w/ Clarissa at the point of stopping to puke. I walked 1 week to the day after having Hunter. Then last year well I was feeling sorry for myself and didn't want to walk alone so I didn't walk. Well I think that lead to a year of regret. My BFF moved almost 2 years ago. We did race together, we did lots of things together, not as much as many people thought but, we were together some times we worked at the same schools, one year we didn't, It's OK we still car pooled 3 days a week. Well for 2 years now I've been on my own. The first year was easy to pretend she was still here as we saw each other a lot. The second less and less and this year 2009. I think I may have spent a total of 5 hours with her if I'm lucky. So anyway Race weekend was here (Last Saturday). I had many reasons to not participate. I was on the committee for our Stake RS Enrichment activity and it was that day. I was decorating for the activity til 11pm (OK so that is not late for me).

I could not live another year in regret, so I walked alone. I didn't try to find anyone to walk with me. I even left my kids at home. It was a personally victory for me. I had vowed many years ago to never let the absence of another person keep me from doing what my heart desired and last year I did. I have lived my life, in such a way that if I wanted to do something and it was physically, emotionally and finically possible I have done it. I have traipsed all around the United States alone, and loved it. I was not afraid to get in my car and go, to see a movie alone, to eat dinner alone. I was not going to miss out on things I wanted because no one else wanted to. I do not want to lose that person. I know it is harder to go to a movie alone than in a group. I have even been to Disneyland alone. (I have a great time with myself. We eat at the best places, we never get lost and we always meet up at the right time. OK Laugh people laugh) I also love traveling w my BFF as we travel well together too.

So while I walked for a cure for Breast Cancer that has taken the lives of 3 of my great aunts, and almost a 4th (she is a 2x survivor). This year I was able to renew my own energy, to remember who I am. To remember I can do it what ever it is, I can do it alone or I can ask for help. Yeah, I said it ask for help. As I walked I was able to think. (I love walking for that reason, I do my best thinking walking.) I saw the power of one but, the fun of a group. I knew that I could have asked for help and someone would have come walk with me. I learned a lot in my 3 mile journey. I learned that even though I have had a failed attempt at making one new friend this year, I have made many friends. I learned that "all you need to do is call" and they "will be there". So next year save the date the first weekend in May! Come walk with me!
I love personal growth. I love being reminded that while I may have physically been walking alone, I knew my Heavenly Father was walking with me. I was reminded of the many times in my life he has carried me when I could not walk. I'm thankful for those opportunities to grow. I 'm thankful for my friends. I miss many of them but, their being far away provides me with opportunities to travel and explore.
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Christy said...

Autumn, I'm so proud of you and at the same time jealous. I missed doing race with you, more than I thought I would. I thought I would be able to come down for walk but that didn't work either. Crappy family (JK). I need to work on defining when it is okay for me to go do something for myself. So, yes. I will be there next year. First weekend in May. Let's get a sitter so we can enjoy girl time with out chasing rug rats. Love you! Miss you!

Julia said...

Ohhhhh....that was a beautiful sweet post Autumn! And I know Christy is your best friend but I wouldn't mind going out and doing things with you too!! Am I included in your list of friends?...